How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize