Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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