You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
i've created a new STD.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
