I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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