Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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