I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
