tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
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I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
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I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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