We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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