He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
the condom got lost in my hair
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize