i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize