If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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