The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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