I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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