my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
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Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
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So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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