I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
be right there i have to get my cape
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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