Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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