i would punch a child for taco bell
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize