i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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