I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize