I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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