6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
