peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Randomize