Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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