like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I currently don't understand fingers.
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