the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
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apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
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I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
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