so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize