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I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
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