He told me they were just razor bumps!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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