Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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