Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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