Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
