Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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