I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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