True but thats because hes a fetus.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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