i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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