I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
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