ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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