You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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