Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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