No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
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Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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