This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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