All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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