quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He did a backflip because drugs
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