HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
