Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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