You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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