Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize