they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
