i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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