doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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